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Guess Who’s Back!

Hello there boys and girls, ladies and gents, podcast listeners and…people who will become smarter, slimmer, faster, better looking, and more fit after listening to this podcast.  This is your previously infamous podcaster Carlton.  Much like Jean in the X-Men movie I am reincarnated into a new form only to be quickly stabbed to death by you, the reader.  In our never ending quest to entertain our loyal fan base, I will be providing content to Flicker Effect for you literate pleasure.  Instead of movie reviews, you will receive context revolving around our weekly theme.  This week’s theme? COMIC-CON!!!!

So I have never been to Comic-Con.  While thinking about going does not technically count as actual attendance, my stubbornness won’t allow that to stop me.  Many friends of mine, David included, have attended the penultimate popular culture event of the year.  Fortunately, again thanks to David, I have attended A Con.  Mega-Con.  Once.  And it was this past Mega-Con.  Expos were always of interest to me.  Why people go.  How they have become so popular.  What the Expos would have looked like if they never traded away Pedro Martinez.  It is all a collection of individuals who come together every so often to say, “Hey, there are other people just like me. How neat.”  Now this post will not go into detail about the human connection brought about through pop-culture or comic book conventions.  You will not have to read about how meeting the real-life actors playing roles we love, hate, or learn from each movie or episode changed our lives.  Those all are all true.  William Shatner’s “Get a Life” and Eugene Roddenberry’s “Trek Nation” both give powerful and artful testimony to the essence of conventions.  I however, have been fascinated by Cons for completely other reasons. Below is my list:

1) Marriage Proposals

Do yourself a favor and google “Comic-Con Marriage Proposals”.  You will find a collage of videos, articles, and images of loves toughest test which is of course the Comic-Con marriage proposal.  Toughest test you say?  Surely it is tougher to ask your spouse to marry you in front of family?  In front of a packed football stadium?  By shotgun in front of a very pissed off soon-to-be grandfather?  Of course those examples are tough.  But imagine the effort it takes to dress up in cosplay.  The amount of makeup you both are wearing.  The days, months, and even years spent planning every detail of your Xena the Warrior Princess outfit that you were certain fit you the last time you tried it on.  You walk into the main convention hall where 786 different Dr. Who’s are all wondering about.  And then, out of nowhere Jar-Jar Binks gets down on one knee, pulls out a ring and says, “Yuda makin me weal prow to bea taken me handz in maiwage.”  Think about how that person must feel.  At that moment they realize if they say yes, they will have to recount that story over, and over, and OVER again to all their friends and family for the rest of their lives.  If they say no, even the most hardened hater of episodes 1-3 will shed a single tear for poor, poor Jar Jar.  You want tough?  That will show you tough.

2) Comic-Con Breakups

Unfortunately not all relationships last.  Some end quickly, quietly.  Others however end dramatically.  This kind of breakup is hard on the soul.  It is deep.  Soul deep.  Like a demon pit straight into hell in the middle of the suburbs as it was in the movie “The Gate” deep.  It will sit with you for a long, long time.  You were in love.  A love that you thought was everlasting.  Nothing could break apart the bound that you two shared.  Until the unthinkable happened.  You found out they were a dick.  Of course I am talking about the breakup that inevitably will happen between some of you, the Con attendee, and your favorite actor playing your favorite character or Comic-Con itself.  They were so sweet on film and camera.  The connection was felt both ways right?  I waited in-line for hours at Hall H.  Didn’t you see me?  Didn’t you notice?  Didn’t you at least care?  Nope.  They didn’t.  Sometimes it is hard when reality hits you in the face.  Some things are never what they seem until you are forced to deal with it.  When you see your fellow conventioner, pick them up.  Give them a hug.  Tell them it will be okay because you just saw a guy dressed as Jar-Jar Binks get dumped in front of everyone in the main convention hall by Xena the Warrior Princess.

3) Straight Cash Homie

I read an article about the “17 Geek Conventions You Must Attend Before You Die.”  I will spare you intimate details, but in a nutshell conventions make serious bank.  Now I am sure some will argue that the money goes to a good cause or that they really don’t turn a profit.  I am sure some conventions struggle just to break even.  But for the ones that DO make money, good lord it is sweet!  Now please don’t let this deter you from attending.  By all means attend.  Enjoy and have a great time.  I am merely pointing out that a profession in event planning could be a really good career goal for some of you avid Con goers.  Yeah, you really don’t get the same experience when you are working the convention as someone attending.  But ask the person working on the set of Guardians of the Galaxy would they rather work on the set or only watch the movie on the big screen.  I am pretty sure you will get their answer while you are getting their autograph at this year’s Comic-Con.

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